8 Reasons You Should Hire a Professional Wedding Officiant
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Many couples don’t have a clear idea of what they want out of their wedding ceremony, but they do know they want it to be very personal. And I completely agree! After all, highly personalized ceremonies are what I specialize in.
Naturally, couples often feel that having a friend officiate their wedding will ensure a truly personal feeling in their ceremony. At first glance, asking someone who knows them well makes intuitive sense. But thinking about it a little more deeply turns up some concerns.
Let me be clear: I mean no disrespect to your friends and family members! Almost every couple I work with tells me that celebrating with their loved ones is what they are most excited about as they look forward to their wedding day. I get it! Still, there are some things to consider when deciding whether having a friend officiate for you, or seeking out a professional is the best course for you, and for your loved ones.
6 reasons you might not want to ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding ceremony
01 Friends and family members know it’s an honor…
to be asked to officiate your ceremony, and they may be reluctant to decline because they don’t want to repay that honor with rudeness. Uncomfortable, and it can lead to problems. I get panicked calls every year from couples whose friend or family member has backed out of officiating on short notice. Sometimes extremely short notice. It would be exceptionally lucky to find an experienced professional officiant available to step in at the last minute.
02 Your “personal” ceremony may be lopsided.
Asking someone who knows only one of you very well may lead to a ceremony that is personalized around only one of you. This wouldn’t be intentional, but it would be natural. Your wedding is about the two of you. Shouldn’t your ceremony reflect you both equally?
03 Someone who knows you may feel it’s intrusive…
to ask personal questions about your history, your relationship, and your intimate thoughts and feelings – the very things that make your ceremony personal. Will the importance of such information even occur to them? A professional wedding officiant knows that getting those details are a crucial part of the assignment, and will ask respectfully.
04 You may add more to your own plate than you realize.
Your wedding ceremony is a big deal, and so are the legalities. If your friend agrees to officiate, they may say, “Sure, just tell me what you want.” Will their online “ordination” be recognized so that you are legally married? How much of the research, writing, and logistics do you want to take on yourself?
05 You may have less input than you would like.
If a friend or family member comes to you with a ceremony that feels too much like a comedy routine, or if you just think it could use some polish, will you feel comfortable asking for edits? And how will they feel about that request? As a professional wedding officiant, it’s normal for me to go through multiple drafts with my couples, and I expect to get honest feedback as we develop your perfect ceremony.
06 You have to pick one person to officiate.
By choosing a friend or family member to perform your ceremony, you will necessarily not be choosing others who are close to you. Is there any chance this will cause someone to feel slighted or disrespected? Do you want to invite such feelings about your wedding day?
Given all these considerations, it’s worth asking yourselves how to get to your perfect, highly personal wedding ceremony without adding more to your to-do list, and without putting any of your loved ones in a difficult spot.
8 benefits of hiring a professional wedding officiant
These days, online ordinations can be had with a few keystrokes. And it’s trivially easy to copy and paste a generic wedding ceremony script from the internet. Professional wedding officiants who create unique material for each and every couple bring a great deal to the table for their clientele. So - aside from a ceremony that is yours alone, what do you stand to gain from working with a professional? So many intangible benefits!
Someone to guide you, rather than someone you need to manage
Years of experience - I'll alert you to things you never thought to consider.
A library of resources for ideas and inspiration
A smooth process, help staying on track, and expertise at every step along the way
An understanding of how to work with the rest of your wedding professionals
Strong public speaking skills
Assurance that the legal side of things will be properly seen to
Peace of mind & a stress-free wedding day
Officiating your wedding is an honor and a huge responsibility. You may have a close friend who is a confident public speaker, a great writer who is eager to take on the task, and thorough enough to handle the legal aspects diligently.
Or your group of candidates may be people who aren’t all of these things, but who love you dearly and who always want to be there for you. It may be kindest to yourself and to them to let them to simply be present with you on your wedding day. To let them feel the excitement and love with you, rather than the weight and the challenge of rising to an unfamiliar task for a momentous occasion.
A professional officiant will be able to offer resources to make your ceremony truly your own, such as options for readings you might want to include. He or she will know how to graciously ensure that your guests stow their phones so that you can have an unplugged wedding ceremony. They’ll be able to incorporate just the right amount and kind of humor to keep the mood happy and celebratory.
My best advice is to think over the question of who will officiate your wedding ceremony carefully, so that you feel supported and your ceremony is a joyful expression of your happiness and commitment to one another.
Are you looking for an experienced officiant for your wedding in eastern Pennsylvania, New Jersey or Delaware? I happen to know Lehigh Valley and New Hope, PA wedding venues inside and out. Think I might be a good fit for your big day? I offer no-obligation not-a-sales-calls and would love to connect!
