How to Safely Include Your Dog in Your Wedding Day
Include your dog in your wedding celebrations!
Reading time: 12 mins
Your wedding is the time to gather your loved ones close. And these days dogs aren’t just our best friends, they’re family members. So wanting to include your dog in your wedding is natural. Here’s everything you need to consider and do to have your dog at your wedding - safely and successfully, including a round-up of 10 expert tips.
Consider, Assess & Plan
Assess your dog
As veterinarian and animal behavior specialist Dr. Liz Stelow so humorously puts it, “couples should assess their dog honestly to determine whether he would prefer to hear about the ceremony later rather than experience it in person.” She goes on to say that only a small percentage of dogs actually enjoy events such as weddings.
So…is your dog one of the few who would like to attend a wedding? Being clear with yourself about your dog’s personality and behavior is important, otherwise you run the risk of your dog becoming a distraction rather than a lovely addition to your wedding.
Be honest about your expectations
Are you and your beloved very laid back about your wedding? If something unexpected happens, are both of you likely to laugh it off? Or is it really important to you that things go exactly to plan? Dogs can be unpredictable, and they’re definitely cute enough to steal the show. How would you feel about it if your dog’s ideas for your wedding day don’t match your own?
What sort of wedding are you planning?
There’s a world of difference between a private elopement that includes just the two of you with a wedding professional or two, and a gala wedding with dozens or hundreds of guests. Your dog may do fine at one of these, both of these, or neither. A destination or adventure wedding will present additional layers of challenge when it comes to including your dog. How far will you be traveling to your wedding venue? All of these factors should be weighed as you consider how or whether to have your dog at your wedding.
Some wedding venues will welcome your dog, but check the fine print.
Consider your venue
If you’re in the very early stages of planning your wedding, now is the time to ask yourself some high-level questions. What are your highest priorities? If having your dog at your wedding is at the top of your list, that will probably limit the wedding venues you can choose from. Screen potential venues with this in mind before you get too far into your planning.
If you do find a venue that is friendly to dogs, check the details as they may vary considerably from one venue to another. Make sure you fully understand what they permit and what they require.
Don’t plan to sneak your pet in or surprise your venue by simply showing up with him. Venues can cancel your entire event if you breach your contract, which would really be awful.
A Dog at a Wedding - Safety First
The last thing you want on your wedding day is an injury to anyone while you’re celebrating the happiest day of your life. Here are some pitfalls to watch out for.
Potential risks to your dog
Keep your dog safe at your wedding.
Your guests
Of course your loved ones won’t intentionally hurt your pet. But small dogs can be accidentally injured by guests if they are stepped on, particularly if the guest is wearing high heels, as is common at weddings. In crowded spaces, people tend not to look down at the floor, so a small dog underfoot can easily be missed.
Heat and dehydration
The warmest months of the year are peak wedding season. High heat, humidity and taking your dog out of their usual routine all carry risks. Some breeds are well adapted to high temperatures, and others less so. The risk of overheating can be compounded by any clothing you plan to have your dog wear.
Toxic foods
Whether your dog helps herself to some people food, or a wedding guest “treats” her without permission, there are risky foods to avoid at your reception. Children especially may drop or leave food where your dog can find it. If you plan to have your dog present where food is available, the safest route is to coordinate with catering to ensure that no foods toxic to dogs are on the menu. (To name just a few, chocolate, artificial sweeteners, grapes, alcohol, and onions are all dangerous for dogs.)
Beautiful, but not dog-friendly.
Toxic flowers and plants
Many flowers can be harmful to dogs. Popular wedding flowers on this list include tulips, hydrangea, calla lilies, and eucalyptus greens. Ideally your dog being at your wedding should come up in your first discussion with your florist. Also consider what plants are part of any landscaping at your venue.
Water and wildlife
These might not be significant risks to your dog, but they could certainly become real inconveniences on a wedding day. If you choose to marry in a setting with a lake or river, or if there’s a reasonable chance of seeing wildlife - even a squirrel or chipmunk - how will your dog react to those? Will he chase? Or do his best to get into the water? Not every dog will want to, and not every wedding venue will include these temptations. If yours does, make sure to include that in your overall assessment.
Potential risks to wedding guests
Safety concerns can go the other way too. What do you need to watch out for from your dog?
Jumping
Does your medium or large dog like to greet people by jumping at them? Most wedding guest lists include elderly generations who may have mobility issues or be frail. Very old and very young people, as well as people tottering around on high heels - all can easily be knocked over and seriously hurt by dogs who mean them no harm. An injury to one of your guests is not what you want your wedding to be remembered for. A very small dog with the habit of rushing and jumping up on people may not be a concern. But if your dog is large enough to knock someone over, you’ll need to strategize how to avoid this.
Biting or other aggressive behavior
Obviously, if your dog is generally aggressive, or prone to outbursts when anxious, you should think more than once about including that dog in your wedding day. Bringing her to a strange place where she’ll be around many people she doesn’t know, while her two favorite people are otherwise engaged, is asking a lot.
Allergic reactions or phobias
For a few people, your dog might present difficulties no matter how perfectly behaved he is. While you may not know every wedding guest well enough to know if allergies or phobias are a concern for anyone, consider whether this is an issue for your most important guests.
Dogs have special places in our hearts, and sometimes at the sweetheart table.
How will you include your dog at your wedding?
There’s a range of ways to have your dog with you at a dog-friendly wedding venue - from having him in just a few photos, to including your dog in your wedding ceremony. If you merely want to have your dog onsite, it’s relatively simple to be sure he is looked after, kept safe, and included in specific moments. If you want your dog to walk with you down the aisle, or act as honorary ring bearer, that’s a much higher bar for organization and the “good behavior” you’re asking of your dog.
Let’s talk about the ceremony. I am, after all, a wedding officiant, so this where I focus most of my attention, and where I have most expertise. Your ceremony is the brief part of your wedding day when you actually get married, when you make your commitment to one another. And most couples want their ceremony to be memorable. As the one doing most of the speaking, I know that guests are easily distracted during a wedding ceremony.
If there’s an adorable animal at the altar, especially if she’s being playful, barking, or trying to engage the two of you, she will absolutely draw guests’ focus. She may compete for your attention too, in those few moments when you want to feel present for each other as you exchange vows. More than once I’ve seen dogs upstage a couple’s wedding ceremony (and also make a mess of wedding gowns). As a couple, you should consider whether you would be fine with your dog being the most memorable part of your ceremony, or whether you want the attention to be on you and the words you’ve chosen to express the meaning of your day.
This dog is a handsome ring bearer - but he’s not carrying the real rings!
One increasingly popular trend is for a couple’s dog to be their honorary ring bearer. This can work nicely if you have a very laid-back or highly trained dog. If this appeals to you, I strongly recommend that your real wedding rings be kept safely by a responsible adult, often the Best Man. I’m not singling out dogs here – I recommend this for human ring bearers under the age of 7-8 too.
It hasn’t happened at one of my weddings, but a fellow officiant told me about a doggie ring bearer with the real wedding rings who took off after a rabbit at a farm wedding. Needless to say, that caused a few wrinkles. Get some decoy wedding rings if you’ll be attaching them to your dog’s collar or clothing.
10 Expert tips for success with your dog on your wedding day
Wedding vendors of all types will tell you: the secret to a wonderful and memorable wedding day is planning, planning, and more planning so that on your big day you are at ease, with nothing to do but celebrate. The goal is never to solve problems on the wedding day (although wedding vendors do of course); the goal is to make sure problems don’t arise in the first place. To cover all the bases, I asked a few of my fellow wedding vendors to weigh in on dogs at weddings, and setting your dog up for success on your perfect wedding day. Here’s the expert round-up!
01 Familiarize your dog with your wedding venue
Even if your dog is comfortable exploring new places without anxiety or misbehavior, letting him see and get to know your wedding venue before your wedding day will help put him at ease and curb some of his natural curiosity about the place. Dogs at weddings are fun, and even more so if they’re enjoying themselves. If a wedding venue welcomes dogs, they may allow you to bring him when you first look at the place. The physical rehearsal for the wedding would be another good time to let your dog get to know the wedding venue.
02 Train your dog ahead of your wedding day
A well-trained dog is a great dog to have by your side on your wedding day. Videographer and self-proclaimed dog lover Abby King, of Little Kings Media, recommends not only treats when your dog obeys your commands, but going the extra mile to have someone deliberately try to distract your dog during training. This allows her to experience real-life trials that will resemble your wedding day.
03 Exercise your dog the morning before the wedding
Exercise is fun for dogs, and crucial on a wedding day!
The excitement of your wedding day is going to be felt by your dog. See to it that she gets plenty of exercise the morning of your wedding so that she doesn’t have lots of pent-up nervous energy later in the day. I would suggest you plan ahead and designate someone that your dog is comfortable with (hint: a good sitter - see below) to handle this task for you on your wedding day. You will be busy with other things - I promise!
04 Exclude other animals
It’s your wedding. Exercise your prerogative as the couple to prevent any problems caused by someone else’s pet on your special day. Exceptions can of course be made for service animals.
05 Communicate with your wedding vendors
As mentioned above, food, drink and flowers can all be toxic for your dog. Alert your caterer and florist that your dog will be on the site and ask them to exclude anything potentially dangerous. You should also communicate closely with your wedding planner and wedding officiant - especially if you plan to have your dog walk down the aisle or participate in the ceremony. Professional event planners and wedding officiants will be able to help you strategize for success in many ways. Just be sure they know in advance about your dog’s personality and how you want him involved.
06 Keep the leash handy
Leashing your dog limits several dangers to both them and your guests. Most of the risks described above - from toxic foods and flowers, to an injury by or to your wedding guests - are much less likely to happen while your dog is leashed. It will also allow any guests who may want to steer clear of your dog to do so more easily.
Consider having an appropriately festive wedding leash for your dog, with (safe) flowers or other decorative elements. This will show up nicely in pictures!
07 Choose clothing or accessories carefully
If you plan to have your dog wear an outfit, carefully consider the season, and how familiar she is with wearing clothing or something new. In summer, an additional layer can seriously affect her ability to cool herself, even if she’d be comfortable wearing clothing in many scenarios. If your dog is new to outfits or decorated collars, and it’s important to you that she wear one, be sure to familiarize her with these in low stakes environments well ahead of your wedding date.
Bill Stank of Photosynthesis Photography, who also has a dog of his own, has further recommendations. If your dog will wear a regular collar or harness on your wedding day, it should blend in with the color of his fur. Bright, contrasting colors usually end up looking distracting in wedding photos.
Also, in his experience, handkerchiefs with printed messages such as, “My humans are getting married” rarely show up well in pictures, because the cloth will won’t lay flat, or the handkerchief wraps too far around a small dog for the print to be legible. A better choice is a rigid sign, and these are best for larger breeds.
A good dog-sitter makes a wedding day easier for you and your dog.
08 Hire a dog-sitter to look after your dog all day
Danielle Pasternak of DPNAK Events, wedding planner extraordinaire, says that having an experienced sitter is one of the most important things a couple can do to prepare for a wedding with their dog. This person - preferably not a guest - can make sure your dog is exercised, kept fed and watered, and protected from extremes of heat, cold, and noise. Danielle points out that, “for even the most well-behaved pups, the loud music of the party can be incredibly jolting and confusing for their systems.”
Hiring someone whose primary responsibility on your wedding day is to see to your dog’s needs and well-being takes a lot of the logistics off your plate. And some wedding venues that allow dogs actually require you to hire a sitter, because they only permit pets in their outdoor areas. With a sitter, your dog will be available for photos or ceremonial duties, and in good hands the rest of the day.
09 Schedule vet and grooming appointments
If you plan to bring your dog to your wedding venue, it’s likely that they will ask you to show that he is in good health and up to date with all vaccinations. And of course, you’ll want peace of mind on your wedding day too. Especially if you have a long journey to get to your venue. So it makes sense to have a veterinary checkup not too far in advance of your wedding day.
If you want to have your dog looking his best for your celebration, also make an appointment with a groomer for as close to your wedding date as is feasible. Put these two appointments on your calendar early so that scheduling them doesn’t become a last minute-task.
Bonus tip: If you are traveling far from home for your wedding, identify a veterinary practice in your wedding venue’s area ahead of time, just in case of emergencies. Ideally the vet’s office will be open on your wedding day. A veterinarian’s office near your venue will also likely be able to point you towards a local dog-sitter with excellent references.
10 Be flexible
On your wedding day, try to relax into things. You’ve made lists and crossed off countless tasks. You’ve assembled an A-team of professionals around you, and now it’s time for you to be present with your partner and the family and friends who have gathered to honor you. The purpose of your wedding day is to celebrate the happiness and love you’ve found. Enjoy every minute of it, even if your dog misses her cue. She’s there because you love her, and she loves you. Focus on that and let the rest go.
Alternatives to including your dog at - or in - your wedding
Okay, so you’ve considered it from all the angles, and having your dog physically present at your wedding just doesn’t seem best for you or for her. Or maybe she can be there, but not in the ceremony or at the reception. This may feel disappointing, but I want to say “Congratulations!” on reaching a decision that’s right for you and your dog. You can still have fun including her.
Have them attend symbolically
There are so many ways to represent dogs at weddings! I’ve seen faithful renderings of pet dogs modeled in marzipan on wedding cakes, and sometimes as cake toppers. You can use your dog’s image on save-the-date cards, wedding invitations, table number displays, place card notes, or even, as Abby King has seen, as an ice sculpture! Another option is to name a signature cocktail after her. Photobooth prop masks of your dog’s face can add a bit of fun, and Danielle Pasternak recommends life-sized cardboard cutouts that you can pose with for pictures. Another idea is to feature her in wedding favors in various ways - from ordering custom decorated cookies of her face, to having doggie bag favors for guests to take home to their dogs.
Honorable mention
Wedding ceremonies have room for more than just your romantic love. The love of friends and family can and should also be acknowledged. If having your dogs at your wedding isn’t in the cards, ask your wedding officiant to include some mention of them in your ceremony – they are family after all. Your dogs deserve recognition in your wedding ceremony just as much as others who love you and whom you love.
Mom, I need a nap!
Get the photographs
Whether during your getting-ready photos, your first look, or even during an engagement photoshoot, you can capture images that show the love between you and your dog.
Bill Stank recommends that photos with your dog be staged away from activities and people who may distract her. Keeping others out of the line of sight for your dog will help things go smoothly. Whether for an engagement shoot, or during your wedding day, have one extra person your dog is fond of available to stand right next to your photographer. When that person calls your dog, it will appear that she’s looking at the camera.
If your wedding schedule includes a “just married” stroll right after your ceremony, this would be a great time to have pictures taken with your dog. If there are any jitters, they’re usually over for couples once the ceremony is done. And if any linger, your dog is sure to help you shake off any remaining nervousness. Then you can turn your pup over to a trusted sitter for the rest of the day.
Bottom line
Whether your dog will be onsite for your wedding day, participate in your wedding ceremony, or be with you in spirit, there are many things to consider and many options. No one knows your dog like you do, and it’s your wedding day, so trust your own instincts. Once you’ve decided what sort of involvement you’d like your dog to have in your big day, your planner and wedding officiant should be able to offer guidance on safely and creatively including your dog in your wedding celebrations.
If you’re planning to include your dog in your wedding, you’re already planning something unique. Other ways to make your day your own include adding humor or a reading to your ceremony. And if you’d like your guests to take it all in, you probably want to consider making it an unplugged ceremony. I’d love to help you with every detail of the ceremony that reflects your story, your personalities and your love.
Are you planning to include your dog in your wedding - symbolically or physically? Drop a comment to share your ideas, inspiration or tips!
