Screens Down, Hearts Up: How to Plan the Perfect Unplugged Wedding Ceremony
As a wedding Celebrant, I’ve had the privilege of helping hundreds of couples prepare for their ceremonies, and the honor of officiating as they exchange their vows. More and more of my couples are opting for an unplugged wedding ceremony as they seek to foster an intimate and connected atmosphere for their celebration.
It makes sense, right? A couple puts so much time, effort, and attention to their big day. They naturally want their guests to notice and experience it all. Achieving an unplugged ceremony is one important part of that overall goal.
I get a fair number of questions about unplugged ceremonies. So today I’m sharing all the details about what works, and what only helps, based on years of experience.
What is an unplugged ceremony?
An unplugged wedding ceremony is one where guests are gently invited to put away their phones and devices and be engaged in the here-and-now of the wedding day. Many couples would love for the vibe of their unplugged ceremony to stretch all the way through the reception. Others are happy for the phones to come out after their vows are done.
Capturing images, not making memories.
Why would we want to have an unplugged ceremony?
There are many things that recommend an unplugged approach to your ceremony. Here are just a few.
You deserve to have your loved ones present for you. As you imagine yourself walking down the aisle after exchanging your vows, do you want to see your guests looking at you, smiling and clapping for you? Or aiming their phones at you?
A lot of time, attention and effort goes into your wedding day, and you probably want it to be memorable for yourselves as well as your guests. They will make stronger memories if their experiences aren’t being mediated through a screen. And truthfully, will they ever look at the pictures they take again anyway?
Putting away the distracting tech that commands so much of our attention promotes more and better emotional connections. As a professional officiant I can definitely feel the ebb and flow of emotion from the guests as an unplugged ceremony progresses, and so can the couple. A wedding ceremony is an emotional highpoint for the couple; no one wants their guests to be scrolling their phone as they say ‘I Do.’
Privacy/Control - You may not want your guests posting about your event or sharing any images until you’ve had the chance to do so. Chances improve dramatically that no one will steal your thunder on social media, or post about an event you prefer to keep private, if they aren’t taking any pictures.
No interruptions - True story: I once was in the middle of officiating a wedding ceremony when the phones of a couple dozen guests went off with Amber Alerts.
Better results from your professional photographer – If you’ve hired a photographer, you probably want fantastic images. And unlike the cell phone snaps your guests would take, you will actually look at the professional photographs many times over the years. Guests with their phones in the air or in the aisle can ruin the shot the professional would have gotten. When your guests don’t interfere with the professional’s job, you get more value for the money you’re spending.
Okay, so how do we pull off an unplugged ceremony?
It will take some strategy. Most importantly, be consistent in your messaging, and communicate your wishes early and often. Here are my best tips to make this happen:
Set expectations in advance via your save the date cards, the invitation, your wedding website, and in conversation ahead of your wedding day.
Enlist the help of your wedding party members. They can spread the word about your wishes for an unplugged ceremony, so you don’t have to play the heavy.
Signage – Think of a chalkboard sign as a subliminal way of messaging your desires, not the main or most effective one. Guests can miss (or pretend to miss) these signs. As a professional officiant, I often walk out to begin a ceremony in front of guests with their phones at the ready - all of whom have walked past such signs. What really works is…
A direct request from your officiant – Every experienced officiant knows how to politely but firmly communicate your wishes for an unplugged ceremony. It’s close to 100% effective. Very few people will persist in using their phones after an officiant asks guests to put them aside.
It’s not always enough to ask people not to take pictures or scroll. Some emergency notifications will override even a silent mode or ‘do not disturb’ setting. You may want to provide a place for guests to deposit their phones away from the ceremony area, just to be sure.
Don’t feel like leaving it to chance? If an unplugged ceremony is one of your top priorities, the nuclear option is to get married in a remote location with no cell service at all. Admittedly, it’s not feasible for everyone. But if you want your guests truly present with you all day, this might be worth considering.
There are many upsides to unplugged wedding ceremonies, and few downsides. No couple I’ve worked with has ever told me they regretted having an unplugged ceremony. As a Celebrant, I always look to provide options and then support my couples in the choices they make for their wedding day. An unplugged ceremony helps create an intimate space where the couple’s connection can shine, and their story can be heard in an attentive, warm atmosphere.
If you’re looking for guidance about other things to include in your wedding ceremony - maybe a reading, some appropriate humor, or your furry best friend - follow the links for more expert advice.
Need other sorts of help with your wedding ceremony? Achieving an unplugged ceremony is just one aspect of a ceremony I help couples with as a professional wedding officiant! Reach out and tell me what you need help with, and I’ll get the ball rolling.
